Saturday, April 16, 2011

Ups and Downs

The last few weeks have been like a roller coaster. Some of the highlights have been with the friendships we've made at the Adoption Discovery class at our church. I am so excited that there is a desire to begin an adoption ministry within our church. We also received new photos of Paul, which was exciting as always. The very next day, our USCIS application was returned because a page was missing. I couldn't believe it! I had poured over that application for a week! That night, I just sat and cried wondering why we kept hitting walls and having hold-ups. I decided to check out a blog that someone in the adoption class at church had told me about. It's by a girl from Brentwood that went on a mission trip to teach kindergarden in Uganda following her high school graduation. She decided to make Uganda her home and orphans her life. By 2010, she was the adoptive mother of 16 orphans in Uganda... AT AGE 21!!! I decided to start at the very beginning of her blog with 2007.
I was amazed! Her writing was beautiful (coming from an English teacher), and it was like reading from a prophet. I was so enthralled with her penetrating words and inspiring messages, but more than anything, I was touched by how she spoke the truth of God's love. Her sacrifices were joyous, she labored in conditions that would make most of us catch the first flight back to civilization... but she chose this and she did so with complete conviction and joy in her heart. Before I knew it, I had read all of her 2007 blogs and part of 2008. It was like reading a book you just couldn't put down, and I felt God speak to me with every word that I read.
It was getting late, and by this time I was overcome and exhausted with the roller coaster of emotions of the day. I finally closed my eyes (with my laptop still in my lap) and cried out to God. In my prayers, I asked God if we kept hitting walls because this adoption was not of His will, and prayed that if this was in His plan, that He would strengthen us and please progress this before we give up. I closed my prayer with questions still piercing my heart, "Is this adoption something we should be doing??? Is this truly God's will our our's?" Now, I don't usually get immediate answers to my prayers in such an obvious and in-my-face kind of way. Before I say exactly what happened, I should share a little background. I majored in English and have my teaching license to teach English/Language Arts. When my husband bought my laptop, he set up my screensaver to be dictionary words. When my screensaver pops up, it is a word from the dictionary and it's definitions. Typically, it brings up unusual words that we don't use on a regular basis. However, on this night, it was just a regular word. I had been praying for a while so my screensaver had come up while the computer was still on my lap. I opened my eyes from prayer and to my amazement, the word on my screensaver simply said, "adopt". As chills ran up my spine and tears filled my eyes, I knew I had my answer... we are doing what God wants for us, it is just going to happen in His time, which is always perfect. So with no further question in my mind and no more doubt, we will progress forward as fast as God moves this through, and His timing will be perfect and will make perfect sense.
If you want to be truly blessed, please check out Katie Davis's blog at http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com
You will fall in love with her and the beautiful children of Uganda, and you will see the power that God has when He moves us. She reveals God's heart for orphans and lives her life to serve God. Check it out and be blessed!

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